Memories...

A few nights back, i decided to look through an old family album... Taken about 12 (!) years back.. Teehee.. Primary 2 only. While flipping through the dusty, yellowed pages, i realised smthing... I dont smile at all!!! In the whole album, maybe only 3 pictures of me had a weak barely-there smile. I was perpetually in this chao face -_- wats wrong with me? Maybe i had lost a tooth.. or two.. lol..

Found this really stupid, obnoxious photo of me.. We were at Mt Cook, playing with all the snow.. There was a worse-r one.. haha.. i was launching a snowball midway at my dad.. =P That rates 10 on the lvl of retarded-ness. Hence, its not here.. laughs..

Teehee... but the mountains all very nice hor. It was the first time we saw snow.. smtimes cant even walk cos we were stuck knee high in the snow! lol..

Photo taken at this waterfall place.. I remembered we were all freezing cold..! laughs.. Thats my bro in his big scuba-diving glasses, my mom, me and my grandma.. All look so happy.. Haha.. i think my brother will kill me if he knows i put such a tuut photo of him online. Concidentally, the date on this photo is dated '93 11 30.. EXACTLY 12 years ago from today.. haha.. Just realised it while i was scanning the photos in.

Hiaz.. looking at those photos brought back so much bitter-sweet memories.. Memories of a family that's no longer there. Happiness on my parents' face are now replaced by anger, bitterness & tears. Ah ma is growing old with age, yet still burdened by the problems of her kids.

At least kor & i share a better relationship now.. Still remember we used to squabble over the stupidest things.. lol.. like how much soup each of us are drinking (for some strange reason, we must both drink an equal amount of soup.. haha) or how much Nutella we are entitled on our breads. Glad to have him as my bro, can talk bout anything to him and vice versa.. And since he is vainer than me metro, I also get all the nice stuff that he doesnt need/want anymore. Most of my facial products are from him.. lol..


Tadah! nice picture right? lol.. i like this photo a lot.. u know what does this tell u? I'm pretty even at primary two! ahaha... shameless i know.. My fringe very cartoon hor? i think is my mom cut de.. lol..

Heh.. enough of walking down memory lane.. remember to tag! =)

A Painful Reminder.

-21 November-

Together with my mom, dear & i went to Lakeshore to choose the tiles for the new place! My mom & I had a hard time deciding what tiles for the different rooms cos we just cant seem to be able to visualize the finished product! Girl thing perhaps? Heh... so lucky got him around.. if not our toilet will be totally mismatched from the rest of the rooms! The agent was also super patient... even when we were delibrating over the toilet for damn long.. Comes with e trade i suppose =)

Proceeded to Jurong Point... Ate a late lunch/early dinner.. was pretty happy to see my mom and him get along fine =) "squabbling" over the bills n all.. Wanted to catch a show but believe it or not, there were only FOUR shows showing at GV Jurong Point -_- So we walked around a bit. Pretty fun.. a little worried for my mom tho, cos she looked so tired. Hope her job isnt putting too much strain on her. When i saw her this morning, she also looks damn tired =P

Before we left, i decided to check out the arcade to see if they have any Eeyores available to kiap. AND THEY DO!! 1 CHRISTMAS EEYORE! I forgot how cute it was le...! So tried my darnest to pick it up.

End result?

SIGGGHHHHH.... consolation prize: bunch of sweets.. expensive sweets those. After every try at the eeyore, the small grip by the side will let u pick some sweets up. Sometimes cant even take any!

Overall, he did a better job than me.. he managed to lift the Eeyore up but the stupid grip loosens when it reaches the top!! Grrrrrrrr....... *curse the machine* Keep giving me false hope. Decided to stop cos i dont want him to spend too much money on it also. Heh.. got chided by my mom for wasting his money =(

Haha.. Thanx dear for trying so hard & feeling bad when u couldnt get it.. Nvm la... To me its a lost cause le. Must........ forget........

Started playing a new game! Maple! heh.. its so cute! Plus a little quest based so i like...! heh.. plus can doll ur character up nice nice... ^^ Cant wait to buy earrings & a hat for my character!

Questions questions questions

When you look at urself in the mirror, whats is the 1st thing u look at?
My teeth. To see if there's anything stuck.. laughs..

How much cash do u have on you?
err.. $1.30? so sad... haha.. Broke as hell.......

Whats a word that rhymes with "test"?
Les!! as in lesbians... hahah...

Favourite plant?
Hmmm... daisies?

Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?
My mom!

What is your main ring tone on your phone?
"Smooth Reggae" inbuilt in my phone. If my dear calls.. its "Swing it".. pretty nice..

ps. does anyone know where to d/l nice ringtones for siemens phones?

What shirt are you wearing?
A plain black razorback from (of all places) 77th Street.. quite old le...

Do you "label" yourself?
Hmm.. not really bah....

Name the brand of your shoes you're currently wearing?
Black strappy Aldo heels! My favourite........

Bright or dark room?
Definitely dark.. Unless i've got a really hot body... laughs...

What were u doing at midnight last night?
Watching tv.....

What was your last text message you received on your cell?
My dear asking me bout my plans today & if i was up yet... ^^

Do you ever click on "pop-ups" or banners?
Hell no... dont want to screw up my com even more..

What's a saying that u say a lot?
"wah!" but thats not really a saying is it? lol... or "is it?"

Who told you they love you last?
Of course my dear..

Last furry thing you touched?
My mini eeyore!

How many drugs have u done in the past 3 days?
None...

How many rolls of film do u need to get developed?
Tons... No printer & lazy to go to a photo developing shop..

Favourite age u have been so far?
Hmm... 18ish? Either that it's the age i grew boobs... haha..

Your worst enemy?
Laziness.....

What is ur current desktop picture?
Adriana Lima....

What was the last thing you said to someone?
"what do u wanna eat?"

If you had to choose btw a million bucks or to be able to change a major regret?
Definitely a major regret.. but considering how broke i am now... I'll be a fool not to choose a million bucks.. laughs..

Do you like someone?
Of course... i like tons of people.. But if it's e 'like-love' type, then there is only 1 =)

The last song you listened to?
Kiss on a Rose by Seal

Courtesy of her =) Definitely a chick questionnaire... no guy in the right mind will ever do this.. laughs..

Bored.
Tired.
Listless.
Alone.
Frustrated.
Sombre.
Hungry.


Wake up................

Sheer Stupidity

Today when i stepped into class, my dear dear friend was talking bout the whole Dawn episode. Apparently, she JUST got wind of the whole issue... A little sllloooowwww if u ask me.. haha..

Anyway, we all agreed that all those flamers out there should just get a freaking life. So what if she went for plastic surgery? -_- If she has the money to go for it, then good for her..!! Hell, if i have the money, i would do a lil nip tuck here n there too.. laughs.. who doesnt want to look prettier...

And its not like she gotta go about announcing it if she had plastic surgery done...

"Hey..! u look a lot thinner now...."
"oh thanx.. i just had some lipo done... ooooooo.. and i did my breasts too... nice?!?"

Thats just dumb... Whatever she does is HER business... she doesnt owe anyone an explanation, unless you're like her mom or dad...

Now 1 of my favourites bloggers, Daphne, has decided to shut down her site too, cos of flamers.. Either that is her site kana hacked.. hiaz.. more too-much-free-time asses...

Note to all fucking flamers: IF U DONT LIKE IT, DONT READ IT. GO AWAY. morons.......... who gives a damn about what u say.. Quit spoiling the fun for the rest of us.....

Grrrr............................

Tried & failed terribly

Hiaz.. Didnt go for another HRM class... missed out on tutorial & a whole topic. Sux. which means i got more catching up to do...

1st mistake: Didnt even bring my notes home. It was at his place & i forgot it was in my file! hiyo.. so even if i went, i wouldnt have notes with me.
2nd mistake: Slpt too late last night, hence my reluctance to wake up this morning. Got set alarm n all but i think i snoozed it for like 2 whole hours! (God bless the person who invented the snooze button) But i did have some pretty cool dreams.. laughs..

tsktsk.. I also didnt copy my accounts notes.. =P chum.........

On a brighter note, I went shopping yesterday! wOOt! We have having a late anniversary celebrations + we needed to collect his contacts. So headed to ps to catch a show, Just Like Heaven. Its those kinda typical romantic chick flick that always have a happy ending.. But i liiikkkeee... I think Reese Witherspoon looks very pretty in there..

After the show, we headed to the archade & i saw the CUTEST THING!!! omg omg omg..........


CHRISTMAS EEYORE!!!!!!!!!!!!! I found it at those machines where u put $1 in, then use this pincer thingy to grip the toy up.. Yes, those money-wasting machines. I would have tried n tried n tried till i get it but there is NONE to even try!!!! *sobs* Its sooo cute.. got the Xmas cape, with antlers & a lil blush on its cheeks.... They said they will only fill it up w new ones when the current stock finishes. There were 4 winnie e poohs left =((( And each time they fill it up, there are only 4 eeyores!!! Limited edition somemore.... I contemplated asking them to call me when they fill it up but i doubt they will.....

I pray n pray the next time i go there, there would be eeyores left, but i doubt it since i seldom go PS anyway. SUCKS!!! boohoohoohoo............

hiaz... Anyway, went to Future State to buy some clothes cos they had a 20% discount on all clothes & i saw this really pretty off-shoulder top there. Ended up leaving with 3 more black tops & with dear being a lot poorer (thanx dear...) laughs.. But all very pretty & feminine... I love sales... ^^

Also went to Barang Barang to look at furniture. Got so excited thinking of the future, when we finally have our own place. Decorating would be a blast! Cant wait... =)

Cant stop thinking of the eeyore... was devising of all the evil plans to get it last night... Laughs... Must stop driving myself nuts =P

Work. work. work.

Eee.. i wanted to wake up at 10 am to start doing my work... but... woke up at 2 pm instead -_- Spent last night watching the final few episodes of Lost together.. What kind of ending is that?! It was like the beginning of another plot.. *curses* Hates endings like that.. But must really give credit to the scriptwriter of Lost.. lol... slash respect..

Harry Potter & the goblet of Fire will be hit the movie scene soon & there are tons of their posters around. Everytime i look at the poster, Lord of the Rings will just pop into mind cos Harry Potter just reminds me of Frodo.. laughs.. dont ask me why.. perhaps i'm not much of a Harry Potter fan (pls dont pelt me with mud).

Getting late & getting irritated.. Lemme think of the things i gotta do today:
1. Accounts - chapter 1,2,3,4 &5
2. Marketing
3. Read through past notes

Doesnt seem like a lot but it is.. =P boohoo.. perhaps i should start on it soon..

Oo.. and i found out yesterday that it was pretty easy to get 2nd-upper class honours!
Criteria: Not failing anything at all (check! for now..) & getting 60 marks n above for 5 subjects/ 70 marks for 1st class honours (booo..). I thought it was 8 freaking subjects!
It would be pretty easy if i didnt screw up my 1st year.. guess i gotta work harder le... Hopefully this info isnt wrong..

Life is perfect when...



















you get a piggyback ride from the love of your life, along a quiet street at 2 in the morning.. laughs..

Been feeling like crap lately.. stupid hormones.. Been thinking & thinking about my life, what i'm doing with it, how its going to turn out & i find myself worried bout my achievements (or rather the lack of it) and how funky my future will become..

BUT..

as cliche as it is, worrying doesnt get anyone anywhere. You just keep stomping about at the same spot. It dawned upon me that i shouldnt really have much to worry about... either that is the hormones clearing up.. lol..

Although i dont have a happy family like last time, at least they gave me all they could even when i didnt show them the respect that they should get. I still have a mom and a brother that loves me (a lil suspicious of my dad), and I absolutely love them. w00t! lol.. Not mentioning dear too.. he's everything that i'm not & i'm really very happy being w him, though some of his shortcomings pisses the hell(!) out of me. lol.. Being together for 5+ yrs has helped me grow as a person & i'm not longer that needy, jealous little kid =P

School lately has been bothering the crap out of me.. and i guess the main reason why i'm so worried bout not 'making it' is cos i'm so goddamn lazy! lol.. really.. Procrastination is my middle name. But i've decided that i shant sit on my ass anymore & actually get started with my notes! Hopefully i'll have all my notes done by the end of the year..

As for myself, i'm going to stop thinking bout other people's actions and let it affect me, cos there's really no point eh? They have their lives, and i have mine. I'm happy & cherish the relationships i hold with those dear to me.. That's whats most important.. I should stop being an insecure little bitch. lol.. Admist the rain, i know there will always be someone there to hold my hand *smiles*

*yawnz* tired tired, school tmr... but i shant groan bout it ^^ Gotta do quite a few stuff.. laundry, collect notes, copy notes, buy wrapping paper.. On a totally irrelevant note, I finally ate UNAGI @ Sakae that day!! wee... they dont have it on the sushi but they got it in a handroll!! Yummy.. turns out they couldnt find a supplier -_- I think i ate bout 7 unagi handrolls? heh.. Aight.. Nightz!

Melancholic Me

Feeling so frustrated, depressed, restless.. even sad. Perhaps It is THAT time of the month. Been doing a lot of thinking/worrying bout my school & myself.

School- Its so depressing that i once i start thinking bout it, i really get so worried that i cant even sleep. Damn accounts... i hate accounts. Truth be told, i havent been attending ANY lectures at all. Dont wanna end up failing my finals, cos its like super expensive to fail any modules & i think it pushes my graduation back by a year. Hoping i can get 2nd-upper honours. 1st-class honours is a lil out of my league =P But i must definitely stop procrastinating & actually get some work done.

Myself- Not sure why but i'm one who get influenced by others super easily. So much so that what they do or say affects me to such an extend that i feel compelled to do something bout it, as if i've got smthing to prove. Whats weird is i'm only affected by some only & its sometimes about the minor-est of things.. Hiaz. Don't know what is wrong with me. I should seriously stop. Trying but..............................

I think i'm going nuts. Hopefully the trip out will clear my head. Definitely not my stomach tho, cos we're going for Sakae! (yes.. again) Hopefully they have Unagi.

The night i forgot

Hmm.. where do i begin? I'll never forget that faithful night at DblO, when i got totally wasted & Merlion-ed everywhere. 5th Nov. *shudders*

We had a blast, at first.. laughing, talking rubbish & taking all sorts of pics. We sat by the table, from 9 to 12 drinking non-stop.. tequila, gin & tonic, Vodka lime, vodka redbull, bacardi.... Everything came quickly, and we all just chugged all of them down like no tomorrow. No idea why we were in such a 'hurry' too. The last thing i remember was heading down to the dancefloor w Keng and returning back to the table in a while to down more tequila. Everything else was a blank. The next conscious moment was next morning, when i woke up in bed beside dear.. There was once tiny instance tat i did remember tho... i was lying in bed, puking.. with water alcohol flowing out of my mouth with dear talking to me (angrily?)...

sigh... First time in my life i got so wasted.. and i'm not proud bout it. Where was my self-control? How scary is it for a girl to not remember anything bout the night before? If not for my dear, so many terrible things could have happened to me. I think i lost some self-respect for myself that night. Plus, my stomach felt so horrible afterwards.. no hangover.. but my stomach was so bad that i puked out the med tat was suppose to sooth my nausea.

I feel so grateful to him. He had to singlehandly drag my drunk, non-cooperative ass back (no idea how he managed to drag me down that huge flight of stairs), while trying to make sure that my puke dont end up everywhere. He also cleaned up all my puke in the room & on me for 2 whole hours, even though he wasnt very sober himself.

the following segment is mushy.. pls stop reading if u are sensitive to such material. ^^


Thank you so much dear.. Thank you for taking care of me & making sure i was ok. *hugs* I love u =) *kisses*

Well, I've vowed to not touch alcohol in a long long long longggg time.. Just thinking of all the spirits makes me gag. I dunno how limbueytor can do this kind of drinking almost everyday. =P

GRRRR....

feeling damn frustrated but i dont even know where to begin. Just feel so helpless as i see him slipping away, further n further from me.. becoming someone who i cant even recognise.. ARGH.. why are those higher ranked people always so fucked up? I really wish i could do something like scream at them n ask them to bugger off.. or maybe even kill them..... We are really wasting resources keeping those imbeciles in service....

Cant they see what they are doing? Do those morons even know how it feels like? Do they really want to know how it feel like to push someone off the edge?

Hating everything around me right now.. I hate them, the fcking Sirs n Mdms... I hate the whole bloody system. I just wanna shoot those muthafckers, especially those weasels, who have totally no qualms bout stepping on others to get what they wants. I dont understand why such people can actually get away with murder.. while the rest of us gotta clean up their shit. Must we stoop down to their level to see that justice is served?

Dunno wat to do or say to help the situation.. Keeping quiet also isnt any better.. Frustrated, helpless, angry.......... Am i suppose to sit there n just pray that everything will get better eventually.. perhaps try my best to not make the situation look so bad... All i can do perhaps is to walk down this angry journey with him, to let him know he isnt alone.... and maybe try my best to keep my anger & helplessness under wraps...

*sighhhhhh..*

Family Day!

Since yesterday was Deepavali, his family decided to have a picnic! I love picnics.. laughs.. So at an ungodly hour of 8 am, we all headed out for Labrador Park near PSA. Beautiful place.. a park by e sea.. There were lotsa fishermen too! We got the "hut" nearest to the sea so there were salty sea breezes too.. lol.. Could definitely get used to that place. Downside - there were tons of ants everywhere! Especially after someone spilled some Pepsi on the floor. Yucks..

After eating breakfast, his grandma (whom i adore.. lol) jio me to play frisbee with her! haha.. Soon, everyone joined in.. xw brought her bf to the picnic.. Tried my best to include him cos i know how it feels like to join such a big family for e first time. Laughs.. Remembered I was pretty scared then.. Prolly cos i was only 16 then? And he ran off to play soccer, leaving me alone.. lol.. But at least now, i've formed a pretty good relationship with his family and they accepted me, for the brown haired, cant-speak-teochew me. And for that i'm very glad. =)

The boys were playing soccer, didnt join in cos the "pitch" was already very small.. so i, xw dragged his youngest aunt to take photos.. lol.. It was way too sunny to take much decent photos cos we were squinting all e time..

best shot:




















xw (left) & me.. The background very nice right? Saw a fisherman catch a fish.. lol.. thought it was pretty big from the bend of the pole but.. lol.. i was quite wrong. I would love to go fishing tho, just standing there watching e world go by & i think it'd be quite thrilling to catch a fish!

We were getting a lil bored so i came up with an idea for a photo.. lol.. To take a photo while jumping off a platform.. LOL.. quite funny.. End result:





















Hahaha.. Like some happy cereal advertisement. I jumped very high hor.. ahaha.. quite an experience.. was quite afraid that i might land wrong tho..

Stayed at the park till bout noon when it was getting hot.. I got sunburnt =P didnt think of putting any sunblock.. but i quite like the effect.. haha.. all nice n pinky at first but when night came, i looked like a lobster.. lol.. After packing up n getting rid of all e ants on the bags, we headed to his grandparent's place.. Played mahjong (with tai) & ended up winning $57!! Not too shabby eh? lol.. but had to give $30 to his aunt cos she was my finance minister so had to share my profits.. $27 still not too bad la hor..

Ended e day totally shagged, cos only slept 3 hrs e night before & got 6 hrs of slp for school today.. HRM.. so booorrriinngg... almost nodded off.. skipped a test too.. =P

Heading to dblo this saturday! Cant wait for get some tequila! w00t!

The Day We Ate a Cow

Yesterday, together with Alex & Nicole, we went for dinner at Brazil Caracacha Churrascaria! This time round, instead of stuffing myself with everything that came to the table, i did selective eating and ended up stuffing myself with topside, lamb & pineapples! If we added up all e meat we ate, i think it would amount to an entire cow =P The onions at the salad bar were really nice too.. lol.. like those at Phuket ^^

Since the night was young & the restaurant was almost closing, we decided to head to Corduroy & Finch around e corner to chill for a while.. I absolutely love the concept of that place and the utensils they use! laughs.. Perhaps i should adopt some of its ideas for my mom's new place..

Speaking of my mom, Happy Belated Birthday mom! =) tho there's no chance in hell u would read this, just wanna let u know that i LOVE u... *kisses*

Tried this drink that doesnt sound right at all.. Absolute milkshake.. Vanilla milkshake + Absolute vanilla. That 2 just dont really seem to match.. lol.. but it turn out like a normal milkshake.. couldnt really taste any vodka (hence feeling a lil ripped off.. laughs). Also tried a really nutty chocolate cake.. which tasted pretty good.... Small.. but pretty good =)

Didnt take much photos, in fear of insulting Alex's camera.. lol..

Didnt wanna end up going back too late cos we've got a family picnic early in e morning.. so left before midnight.. Ended up slping at 4am instead.. zzzz... Hence explaining my fatigue now..