Sweet 21st?

Its 430 am in the morning.. Havent gone to bed yet cos i suddenly remembered that i had to confirm my timetable for the new sch term (which starts on the Sept 11).

It be my 21st birthday in about 9 and a half hrs.. Feels like all other birthdays, except people treat u nicer.. lol.. and for once, gifts had thought put into them.. instead of just the usual re-given gifts.

Suddenly have an urge to write my thoughts down in this vast waste land of cyberspace.. shrugs.. Been lazy these days.. diary entries are few n far between.. perhaps cos my life has been pretty mundane now.. Not that i'm not happy.. I've my dear beside me... Money is trickling in. I'm showered with presents in the last week. I feel loved.. =)

Lately, I've become a lizard killer. Cos i made a pact with him.. Lizards i kill.. cockroaches he kills. My mess-less way of killing lizards is to simply just pour hot water on them... And at the rate i'm killing lizards, i'm gonna have some pretty bad karma coming my way. I think i've killed 2 in the past 2 weeks? Saw one just now... scared the Jesus out of me. Lucky for it, it darted to the service balcony before i could get my cup ready.

The one that i scalded to death yesterday was pretty big. Prolly the grandpa =/ For some strange reason, I actually felt bad after killing it. Honestly. Yeah it was a muthafking big one and its prolly gonna start a family if i didnt get rid of it, but....... when i saw it writhing around (in pain?), i felt bad for that poor fella. I mean.. nobody or nothing deserves to die so painfully.. =(

Oh wells.. better start doing some good deeds...

And no dear.. massages dont count as gd deeds.. lol..

I better go slp soon.. Gotta wake up early.....

[Rest in peace Steve Irwin.. Crikey! =) ]

I think... this would be my last post le cos i've regressed to writing in a diary instead...

Been busy n stressed out w my exams... but at least its down to my last paper.. sigh...

Have been miserable for the past day. Realised that whatever was my fault... i dunno... perhaps i've been too dependant.. too needy... and too busy.

I'm sorry.

Anyway, take care everyone.....

So Beautiful... so Beautiful....

Here i am again after a long hiatus.. Nothing to blog about.. Been stuck w studying & going for super deary lessons.. & also.. I've been blading! wahaha.. My only form of exercise.. =/ Its really fun..

For some weird reason, blading is like swimming to me, except on land.. You know.. like the SAT english qns.. Water: Swimming.. I would choose Land: RollerBlading.. ahaha.. Nvm.. =D


Anyway, yesterday @ DblO ROCKED.. Woo! Just me & dear.. And it was sooooo gd! Ladies Girl's Nite so everything was free for me! The music was nice too... One of Ricky Martin's songs is stuck in my head now.. Very nice to groove too.. heh..

I'm soo in love w their apple shots.. taste like Yakult.. drank 6 or 7 of that.. ahah.. After those shots, everything else didnt taste as nice anymore.. I'm totally off tequila le. Tried one and felt like puking =(

Lotsa angmohs there yesterday... =/ It was as if some of them would be committing a huge sin if they didnt have a girl/girls in their arms. I could see some lone angmoh guys jus standing around, looking for "prey".. yucks.. 2 guys just entered the dance floor.. and SWOOP! they just immediately went to talk to 2 girls who were fiddling w their phones at e edge of the dance floor.. Soon they were hugging and touching them.. =/

Call me conservative but i really dont like wat i saw.. =/ I think girls at pub shld be a lil more careful.. No? Too many idiots out there looking for a quick fuck and will really do or say anything to get in ur pants.

Lucky i was w dear.. One guy was following me on e way back from the loo. Kept tapping me on e shoulder but i ignored him.. Once, i reached dear's arms, he faster walked past me like nothing happened. hahah..

Went to e loo again, and he was there again! =/ aiyo.. so persistent. Told me his name n asked for my msn/email. Didnt want to give it to him.. Wanted to give me his name card but i told him.. "dont expect anything" Told him i was w my bf & he said.. "That would be difficult would it."

Nooooooo it wouldnt.... lol..

Ended up giving me his name card n saying...

"Sooo beautiful... Soooo beautiful.."

LOL.... guys will say anything... Marketing director wor...... Dunno the card real or not..

Anyway, it was fun overall w dear (will put some pics so wont be so wordy).. drinking & boogying the night away with my dear =) Nice to just relax n not think bout my impending exams =/ Muacks! love u soo much dear...

Pissed.

And this time i'm not really in the mood to apologise. I didnt start it.

Indeed, i might not understand the magnitude of ur anger towards them but i seriously doubt there is a need for it to stay pissed for so long.

Coming from a place where my relationship w relatives r a bit strained, i really dont want things to degrade further just cos of that incident.

"I dont like her" jus dont cut it.

Instead of being so pissed (still), why cant u jus be cordial? Nobody is asking u to hold her hands and prance around. To me, its pettiness and ur just stuck in ur own world. She is, after all still ur relative and she has taken more shit from u than whatever she gave u that day.

Have you thought of the complications that i'll have? Having to explain ur behaviour? I hate being stuck in the middle.. but i guess its all about u?

Dunno la... i already know what ur retorts will be like... to me, it cannot justify how u reacted today. Today just didnt make sense.

Fuck it la.. i'm just tired of trying to salvage the situation all the time. Trying to make things better. Trying to make u not seem like the bad tempered guy. Trying to let everyone see u the way i do.

Wahaha.. Did the lastest face recognition thingy just for kicks... And guess who i look like?!

*drumrolls*

(was so afraid i look like some guy... lol)


TADAH!

I bear a 68% resemblance to Liv Tyler & Alexis Bledel! *gasp*

I ish pretty! hahah..

And a 64% resemblance to Sammi.. lol.. Dear says i have an ah lian face =/

Put in another photo and got a shock... lol.. Brace urselves..

I bear a 71% resemblance to..............

KATE BECKINSALE!

FWAH... lol.. *unworthy*

*happy*

Decisions. Decisions. Decisions.

Dear is now at a crossroad in life.. a fairly important one actually. To study overseas or not.

Lotsa friends asked me this before.. If ur other half go study overseas, u how? laughs.. I also dunno actually. Been thinking about it for such a long time.

Its definitely not in my nature to stop him from going so yes, i'm encouraging pushing him to go for it. And there's no buts.. I dont want/like to be in the way of something that can really bring about a big change to his life (and maybe ours?)

If he's doing law, he'll be gone for 5 yrs? Thats almost as long as we have been together.. lol.. His reasons for not wanting to go is that we wont be around (or rather he wont be around) to accompany each other thru the crucial/momentous stages of our lives.

-Like me moving to my new hse next yr.. he cant help w the renovations, moving, choosing tvs, beds, linen..
-Wont be around to celebrate my 22nd to perhaps 26th birthdays n his 23rd to 28th (?) birthdays..
-Wont be around when i get my first job, first paycheck..
-And we definitely cant get engaged/married next year.. lol..

Actually i feel e same way too....... Deep deep deep deep inside it would really suck if he goes away.. Like deep heart wrenching pain.. Jus thinking bout sending him off kills me.. lol

And there is this eventuality that we might not even survive this long distance thing. Its a fact, whether we like it or not. Being apart for so long honestly doesnt help a relationship. lol..

But i jus really really want him to go cos its good for him. Period.

He has a chance to do what he wants. Like me, he's been just cruising through life (i still am) and its good that he finally has the drive to do what he wants.

On the other hand, it maybe good if he does go overseas.. cos i can then take the easier way out and be an air stewardess. lol.. It be cool to live the jet set lifestyle.. See the world (in between flights.. lol)..

Hiya.. dunno bah.. another meaningless post. Guess its really not a decision thing since there is nothing to decide afterall. I'm jus troubled.. no... perplexed.

Go bah dear.. Go be somewhere else besides this suffocating town.

And i'll be here waiting =)

Just buy LV/ Dior/ diamonds for me when u become a hotshot lawyer! ^^